Holy restraining orders!!! When the tagline of the poster reads: “Call someone you loved and lost a long time ago and ask them to see a movie. Maybe it’s not too late,” you know you’re in for the “The Human Centipede” of romance films. Watching the 10-minute anthology of clips above, you’d probably think this was a really bad late 1970s romance film that’s not particularly well-acted, written, or directed. And you’d be correct. But when you consider that the male romantic lead (Joseph Brooks) is a ghoulish-looking middle-aged nerd in big glasses who (big surprise!) also directed and co-wrote this atrocity, you really want to know what brain damaged studio executive green-lit this narcissistic mess. I can only imagine it’s because Brooks had just won an Oscar for composing the gazillion-selling song “You Light Up My Life” the year before that he was getting a chit returned of some kind. Only someone with their head lodged so far up their own ass could make something this weird and think it looked great (especially that slow-motion final kiss to the strains of “Oh Come All Ye Faithful”). The sincerity Brooks conveys in making this film is apparent … which makes this so embarrassing, so awful, and really funny on multiple levels. It’s like Ed Wood directing “Love Story,” … the “Sharknado” of romance films.
Now, here’s where things get really creepy. Brooks committed suicide in 2011 while awaiting trial for allegedly luring women to his apartment via a Craigslist ad and then drugging/sexually assaulting them. The whole sordid story can be found in this article from New York magazine from February 2011: